Browsing: Satire
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Comments Off Age of the Hipster - Monika Richardson
Hipsters. It is a name that evokes great pride in some and eye-rolling from many more. Never to be confused with anything mainstream or too well-known, its origins spurring from what can only be assumed a group of skinny boys and girls with unnecessary prescription glasses, the hipster(Hip.ss.tr), has ironically invaded . . . (Continue Reading)
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5 Survive Valentine’s Day: Singles’ Edition - Aditya Sinha, Paul Iwashita, Kendall Songer
Valentine's Day is a time for love and cheer with your significant other. Unfortunately, however, not everyone has someone with whom to share this day. We at the M-A Bear News feel your pain, so we’ve compiled a brief list of things to do when you’re single on Valentine's Day. 1: . . . (Continue Reading)
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11 Recycle My Megabytes Please - Margaret Ringler
Nothing makes a computer desktop cozier than your own virtual trash can. Whether you have a nifty, politically correct “recycling bin” on a PC or a sleek wire basket that disappears and reappears with your dock on a Mac, you’re probably attached to your computer garbage. Despite their friendly fronts, these . . . (Continue Reading)
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1 Satire: New Changes to the SAT and ACT - Will Hickman
In a move being heralded as “cogent” and “magnanimous,” both the CollegeBoard and the ACT have decided to make their tests even more formulaic. “We just want to make sure that on something like the essay, students do not try to answer the prompt in a creative or inventive manner, but . . . (Continue Reading)
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0 The Partridge Family Christmas Letter Edition IV 2011 - Anna Mayerson
Dear family, friends, college room mates, coaches, dentists, neighbors, past and present financial managers, work associates, and rain gutter cleaners, Happy Holidays! It has been a rocky year (the recession, increasing menace of global warming, and any other disasters that may have plagued your family) but we hope you are able . . . (Continue Reading)
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2An Excess of Christmas SpiritUn Exceso de Espíritu de Navidad- Gavin Rea
It’s Christmas time and cheer is in the air—you know the sound. A mix of caroling, sleigh bells and the occasional roasting chestnut. Changes abound. Your favorite superstore has started piping in the dreaded holiday music and decking its halls with 20% off stickers. (In their terms, as soon as . . . (Continue Reading)
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0 What the Rest of the Year Has in Store - Payton Bush
Are bloody revolutions, natural disasters, and apocalyptic predictions getting you down? Are you feeling just a little scared at the thought of economic crisis and global climate change? Are you looking for at least a few certainties in the future? Well, have no fear students, we’ve got some cozy routines . . . (Continue Reading)
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1 The Serious Nature of Clubs at M-A - Jacob Pfau
Photo credit: Gavin Rea Lost in the midst of the new year's wave of changes is the Administration's push for more serious clubs of didactic value. Just as Cornell notes have left us with beautiful memories, this club initiative has left us with such gems as the Tommy Club and the . . . (Continue Reading)
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0 The Awkward Moment (At School) When… - Anna Mayerson
Awkward moments are happening all around you. Let's face it: it's high school. Here are just a few of those awfully uncomfortable moments we can all relate to. Don't deny it; it's happened. The Awkward Moment (At School) When... You try to put your feet on the cage in front of you . . . (Continue Reading)
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2 When Cartoon Characters Go Bad - Madeline Drace
Earlier this month, a attempted to rob a convenience store. While this perpetrator’s bungled crime has left its own amusing mark on recent news, the demotion of Gumby to petty criminal has tainted the reputation of all other cartoon characters, the childhood pop culture icons we hold near and . . . (Continue Reading)
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2 KKK and Westboro Baptist Church Compete for Greatest American Scumbag - Madeline Drace
Loath as we are to admit it, America has long played host to hate groups. For a nation that was, supposedly, born from brotherhood and democratic cooperation, at least some of us put a lot of energy into antagonizing and hating “the others.” Throughout our history, hate groups have clashed . . . (Continue Reading)
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1 Steampunk, Robots, and Existential Dread: My Experience on Rapture Day - Sam Sexton
I’m not exactly somebody you could call religious. I’ve made it a habit to avoid churches and other religious institutions since that one time I entered one and burst into flames (the burns finished healing in April, NOT THAT ANYBODY ASKED), and while I used to be a devout Pastafarian, . . . (Continue Reading)
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0 B’ak’tun 13 Ahora: A Mayan Apocalypse, Now. - Madeline Drace
It seems as if the world is about to implode. Natural disasters have occurred left and right. From earthquakes, to tsunamis, to vast loads of dead marine life, something is not all right. The second millennium began with a series of floods in Africa and Asia. Indonesia had its share of . . . (Continue Reading)
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0 EXCLUSIVE! How to Decode What Magazine Covers Are REALLY Saying! - Lindsay Keare
You just got lured into reading this article. You’re not as smart as I thought you were. My flashy title drew you in, didn’t it? Magazine companies cover their glossy weeklies and monthlies with bold statements about the latest in celebrity gossip and fashion trends in an attempt to convince gullible Americans . . . (Continue Reading)
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0 Last Ditch Ways to Ask Someone to Prom - Payton Bush and Lillie Hedges
To all those out there still without a date for this Friday's "iProm", have no fear, there is hope for you yet. All you need to do is employ some of these handy-dandy methods, and you'll find yourself frantically searching for the right color corsage in no time. For girls, we . . . (Continue Reading)
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