ANTI BRO TANKS- Jenna Fox

Imagine your ideal man strolling through the halls of M-A. Jeans slightly sagged, and swagger intact, he runs his fingers through his beach blonde hair and throws you a wink. You start to swoon and your knees are about to buckle, until your eyes drift to his sleeveless arms. You then proceed to projectile vomit on his face.

According to Urban Dictionary, bro tanks are “a sleeveless patterned shirt worn by guys to showcase their muscles or their coolness. Contrary to popular belief, bro tanks do not enhance muscles or make you look tan.”

The general consensus of junior girls is that bro tanks are overrated, unappealing, and unflattering for a number of reasons.

1.They are tacky.

2.They are against school dress code.

3.If you aspire to be a “bro,” you need to get your priorities straight.

4.If you’re not at the beach, you shouldn’t be wearing one.

5.No matter what you think, you do not look cool.

6.Your muscles are only as big as they are, no shirt can enlarge them.

7.Limiting your vocabulary to a series of grunts and one-liners makes you seem unintelligent.

8.Your IQ decreases with each minute you are wearing a bro tank.

9.Girls do not find them attractive.

10.No one wants to see your armpit hair.

Junior Karly Newman would much rather see guys in “polo shirts and not tank tops.”

Another junior, Brittney Badduke thinks, “they are literally the grossest things that ever happened, ever. They make guys look like girls.”

All in all, who ever thought to instigate the bro tanks fad should be institutionalized.

PRO BRO TANKS – Kurt Songer

In the scorching heat of spring, summer and most of autumn, men around the world are faced with an enigma. With long-sleeve shirts out of the question, we are forced to resort to t-shirts. But even with shorter sleeves, the men are cursed with armpit stains and limited arm movement. Sadly, it is not acceptable for men to rip their shirts off in public due to the various safety concerns of attracting too many women. This curse has followed men throughout history. But finally, on one unforgettable day that would change the future of mankind forever, our prayers were answered by a new invention. Although its creator is not known to man, the “Bro Tank” is considered by some to be one of the most groundbreaking inventions of the twenty-first century.

This sleeveless sensation, this testosterone charged tank-top, provides the common man with comfort, an opportunity to flaunt his guns for his female peers, and a full range of arm motion for any activity he so chooses. As Menlo-Atherton sophomore Carson Kelley explains, “Sun’s out, guns out,” for sunny weather is recognized as the perfect time to throw on a Bro Tank. With these benefits in mind, it is hard to think of any possible downsides of the revolutionary Bro Tank.

Unfortunately, the Bro Tank sensation is not recognized as true genius by the majority of civilization. It is believed by some that Bro Tanks are womanly, and that they resemble their female cousin, the tank top. However, the Bro Tank, otherwise known as the “wife beater,” is as far from femininity as the perpetrators of domestic violence it was named after.

The misconceptions about  Bro Tanks make wearing them much more daunting for men in need of relaxation and comfort. The womanly connotation they carry deprives the man of the unique and beautiful experience that comes with donning Bro Tanks. By no means is the tank not a fashion statement that is acceptable for select men; it is a way of life that any man who wishes to pursue may do so without retribution or regrets. As explained by Sophomore Zack Heatley, “Bro Tanks are cool, and nice on a warm day. No matter who you are, if you want to wear a Bro Tank, then do it.”

]]> http://www.mabearnews.com/uncategorized/2011/11/22/bro-tanks/feed/ 2 http://www.mabearnews.com/uncategorized/2011/11/04/behind-the-ink/ http://www.mabearnews.com/uncategorized/2011/11/04/behind-the-ink/#comments Fri, 04 Nov 2011 21:53:55 +0000 smoimoi http://www.mabearnews.com/?p=13271

Menlo grabbed the lead within the first quarter, scoring two unanswered goals. The Bears, however, stayed in the game, making a three-point comeback in the second quarter with points from senior Max Wilder, junior Morgan Olson-Fabarro, and sophomore Evan McClelland.

Menlo responded to the 3-3 deadlock with a quick shot right before halftime, followed by two more goals in the third quarter. Though McClelland added a goal, the Knights remained on top with a two-point lead by the end of the match.

As always, senior goalie Alex Gow propped up the Bears’ defense with a total of 12 saves; but so did the Knights’ keeper, also a senior, with 12 saves of his own, and ultimately, the Knights’ strong defense kept the Bears from pulling ahead.

M-A put up a strong fight against a team that is defending its 16th consecutive league title. The 6-4 score suggests that the game was a bit more evenly-matched than Menlo would have liked.

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No Strings Attached, a romantic comedy, attracts an audience through its captivating trailers; however, it fails to keep their attention throughout the movie. After Emma, played by Natalie Portman, and Adam, played by Ashton Kutcher, have sex one morning, they make a pact to have casual sex without falling in love with each other – hence the title. As the movie progresses and the couple faces challenges of jealously, intense working schedules, and drama with family and friends, they develop a companionship that is far from detached. Although maybe not such a bad ending for a different movie, the couples’ lack of on-screen chemistry and the overdrawn and corny plot line didn’t have me engaged, but instead thinking when the movie would end and how badly I had to pee.

Although falling short of any sort of actual substance, the movie definitely redeems itself for some of its lackluster qualities through its humor. Kutcher brings home another win for his typical, “funny guy” role that he plays in about 97.7% of his movies, while Portman appears awkward and out of place. However, the cast definitely makes up for her mediocre performance – notably  Mindy Kaling, from The Office, and Chris Bridges, more commonly known as Ludacris. Although the jokes are more typically in reference to sex, they expand to family drama, tension in the work place, and the oddities of other cast members. Luckily for this movie, its hilarity saves it from a C+ grade.

Opening up shortly after one of Portman’s other box office hits, The Black Swan, Portman is bringing in the big bucks with this additional popular movie. Widely received with good ratings from the adolescent crowd, this movie is worth seeing if you’re in for a good time. However, if you have to pick between this and Portman’s other movie, I would recommend Black Swan. Nonetheless, this movie will rock your world if you’re into seeing a mundane movie once, and then moving on with the actual important things in life.

Themed for the upcoming holidays, the music was an upbeat mix of Christmas and Hanukkah tunes as well as other genres.  The first half included a large amount of audience participation and ended with a “Guess this Rift” contest, where the viewers listened and wrote down the name and artist of selected songs.  The show ended on a similarly playful note, with the entire group of performers singing a rendition of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” complete with an audience sing-along.

Individual singers were also able shine through solos. Kim Fanuatanu presented a moving “O Holy Night” and Nancy Johnson, with “Slow Motion” dedicated to her mother, was soulful and emotional. Erika Keer’s “Samson” was beautiful and unique, followed by Claudia Bisson performing a deep, rich “All I Want for Christmas is You.”

In an effort to mix the guitar and vocal classes, there was much crossover as the choir sang with guitar accompaniment. “It was a challenge to combine the classes,”  said Patrick Maier, the music instructor, “but very rewarding.” Kira Lober later accompanied a singer on the cello and Ms. Kleeman often assisted on the piano.

The collective concert choir sang “Ha Shalom”, “Route 66”, “Misty”, “One Note Samba”, “the Praise Carol”, “Cantante Deo” and “All These Things That I Have Done.”

In the second half, the guitar students performed, exuberant and loud for the most part. The Sutton, Stid, Hoech, Turkowski quartet, also known as Tyranesourous Sex, played “Pack It Up”, “Power of Soul”, and “Run For Cover”. Claire Junglieb’s solo, “Skinny Love”, was received with applause.

Other songs included “Break Even” with Junglieb, J. Morataya, and E. Webb; “Rawnald Greogory Erickson the Second” with D. Douglas, E. Garcia, Morataya, and J. Villalon-Gutierrez; “Lay Down” with Douglas, S. Cleary, I. Magdaleno-Gamez, E. Tinajero-Delarose; “Suddenly Tragic” with Douglas, Cleary, Stid, and K. Inman; “Chamleleon” K. Fanuatanu, Stid, E. Peairs, S. Turkowski; “Santeria” with Fanuatanu, Morataya, Cleary and Turkowski; and “Comfortably Numb” with C. Sutton, Turkowski, J. Blawie, and B. O’Hara.

M-A Choir Concert from M-A Bear News on Vimeo.

Several industrious Bears find work where the rest of us find a refreshing treat: the frozen yogurt shop. A number of students find school-friendly jobs at The Mix, which is owned by an M-A family. Junior Daryn Tinsley, who started working at the shop when it first opened in February, says the job is “pretty great.”

She takes around 3 shifts a week, and finds it easy to merge her work and social life. “My favorite part of the job is seeing my friends because a lot of them come in and the people I work with are cool,” she says.

For Tinsley, “it’s not super hard to balance everything.” Thanks to her bosses, Susannah Albright and Jamie Schein, who ask employees when they can and cannot be available during the week, work “usually doesn’t get in the way” of school and social life.

Kendra Wiley, who works 6 to 8 hours a week at Wildberry, agrees that work is not a barrier to academic success. Although, thanks to the new (and, she says, “rather unfavorable”) bell schedule, she has had to take later shifts that cut into homework time, her work schedule is “relatively flexible, because luckily my boss makes sure we still have free time during the week to do homework and attend to other plans.”

For Wendy Wang, who takes the Saturday shift at Miyo, balancing it all was not always so easy. “Back when I worked three times a week, I had trouble balancing work and school. On some weeknights, I would go to work, come home sometime after 10:00, and stay up until 3:30 or 4:00 doing homework or preparing for in-class essays.”

Now that the storeowner has cut employees’ hours at Miyo, Wang works just one 4-5 hour shift a week, and work has “had little to no impact on [her] school life.”

“Most of my teachers give a lot of homework, so even without work, I don’t really have much time to spend with friends,” she says. Although she works Saturday nights when she could be simply hanging out, Wendy appreciates the priceless work experience her job offers.

Working at a frozen yogurt shop has its perks, too; on break, Wiley can help herself to the yogurt at Wildberry, no $3.95 necessary.

Other Bears gain job experience in the retail field, taking shifts at local department stores. Both Hannah Schneider and Emma Canny are on the BP Fashion Board at Nordstrom, which is comprised of roughly 20 teenage girls who have made it past an application process involving 2 essays, a project, and several interviews.

Canny calls it “a mini-internship, which is designed to help high school girls learn about retail and the fashion industry” while receiving employee training.

“We have meetings once per month and get to participate in fashion shows, or other special events at Nordstrom,” Schneider says. She started working in May of this year and has since then had “tons of new opportunities open up.”

Once, she had a chance to work in Studio 121, a prestigious department in Nordstrom. “I basically was able to shadow one of the top salesgirls in the store and learn her techniques during the Anniversary Sale, the most important sale of the year.”

“She handed her clients over to me and on my first day, I sold $5000 of merchandise to one costumer. Think of the commission…sadly I do not work on commission, but still!”

Along with the day-to-day excitement of her job, Schneider loves the prospect of making new friends among the girls she works with. “I love to see them whenever I work,” she gushes, describing the job as “very fun.”

Since she “generally [does] not work during the week” and the Board directors are “extremely lenient and understanding of schoolwork,” Hannah does not struggle to maintain her grades on top of work.

Canny, in her second year on the BP board, agrees that it is “a lot of fun” working in a department store, although her feet hurt “every single time.” Overall, however, she says, “The other employees are amazing and nice, and I am always learning new things.”

Of course, the discount on clothes doesn’t hurt, as Canny notes.

She keeps busy with other commitments, including the water polo and swim teams at M-A and another job at The Mix. “I make sure to set my priorities straight,” she says. “Schoolwork always comes first, regardless. No exceptions. I try to put my sports before work as well.”

At The Mix, Canny enjoys the work environment, which she describes as “calm” and “not stressful at all even in packed times.” Of her coworkers, many of whom she knew before heading into the job, Canny says, “We are a pretty much relaxed group of people and try to give the shop a nice home-like feel to it.”

With such a packed schedule, Canny makes sure her social life is tied into her school life. “I try to hang out with all of my friends as much as I can at school,” she says.

Another junior, Eisa Evans, is spending her high school years building up a formidable resume. “I’m a lifeguard, swim instructor, DJ for 94.9 and 99.7, babysitter, tutor, bike mechanic, and bike trainer,” she says.

DJing may seem like an unusual hobby for an average high schooler; but for Evans, it is what she has been doing since 7^th grade. She travels to concerts, where she “observes the professionals,” and to San Jose and San Francisco, where she interns and submits her own mixes.

“If they think it will be good for rating, they’ll play it. If not, I still earn money for it,” she says.

On juggling all her jobs on top of school and friends, Evans says, “I balance everything out. School comes first for me. Usually relaxing time is when I’m mixing music. As for social life, people usually come over to listen to mixes so my social life literally surrounds my jobs.”

Many Bears seem to have struck this ideal balance. For the majority of students with jobs, the extra time investment is well worth it. “I never really thought about having a job until last year,” Wiley says, “but now that I’m actually working, it’s a fun way to earn money.”

However,  most teachers claim that collaboration takes too much time and effort. Every student has different classes that demand certain types of work, from math problems to essays. With all of this variation it is very likely that an attempt to organize a testing schedule would only create more chaos.

Video production and English teacher John Giambruno states, “teachers have proposed some ideas in the past, such as having one subject put all test or due dates on a particular day of the week. I’m not quite sure what happened to that”.

Plans such as this have, unfortunately, failed because students can have six or even seven classes, meaning that at some point there would be double test days. Also, most teachers wish to use Fridays because they can cover material through the week, or on the block day, so that students have the most time possible to study or work on projects.

Block days in themselves are notorious for having multiple tests and essays. Classes such as AP US History assign tests and essays almost every block day. Benjamin Wellington believes that it is expected for classes such as his to challenge students in this fashion. When asked if teachers should collaborate on due dates, Wellington curtly commented, “No.”

Other AP classes, including AP Euro, AP English, and the AP foreign languages mostly follow their own schedules. After AP testing in May, these classes generally slow down, but up until then any day is acceptable for a test day.

Junior Marie-Charlotte Popp, who takes four AP classes while doing water polo, says that “it’s simply too draining to go from one test to the next after practice, not to mention very stressful”.

In fact, most students taking AP classes believe that it’s too much to have multiple projects due on the same date while having tests in more than one class. However, the only time in which students will protest this is either to each other or with the rest of the class backing them up. When the majority of a class protests some teachers will be swayed, but others  still remain unconvinced.

These AP classes are supposed to be college level courses. While it may prove difficult for students to succeed with multiple tests on one day, it is assumed that the students should be prepared for the challenge.

As for the non-AP classes, the decision whether or not to collaborate is a bit more difficult. Teachers would not only have to organize schedules with each other, but also would have to meet the state requirements for their own curriculum. However, their classes are high school level rather than college and therefore are less demanding; teachers could potentially have time to organize schedules with each other.

When asked, history teacher Linda Ryne stated, “It’s a good idea, it would keep the students fresher…but it’s hard to coordinate when you have state standards to reach.”

The bears came out of the gate quickly as junior Max Wilder scored three unanswered goals within the first five minutes of the match. The other nine goals were bounced, thrown, and tipped into the cage by eight other M-A players.

The frustration of the Bonita Bearcats became apparent when their head coach began to mock Marco Polazzo, the M-A coach, by making exaggerated arm movements and imitating stereotypical Italian mannerisms in an offensive manner.

“I thought it was mildly amusing to see their coach embarrass himself like that, but I wish he could have focused his energy on the game,” said senior captain Grahame McClelland.

To add insult to injury, a bearcat was ejected from the game for taunting the M-A goalkeeper, junior Alex Gow, after he scored the last bearcat goal.

Junior Roger Upton scored his first goal of the season at the conclusion of the match.

The lack of sportsmanship displayed by the Bonita team did not hinder the performance of the Bears and only seemed to fuel their efforts. The bears will suit up again this Friday, September 24, at the St. Francis Tournament in Mountain View.

When asked their first impression of Menlo Park, a student from East Palo Alto frankly said, “more white people and more rules.” A student from Menlo Park said that the first thing that came to their mind about East Palo Alto was “drugs.” Clearly the views that the students had are one-sided, knowledge gained from an outsider’s perspective.  When asked, Mele Moimoi said that her first thought about East Palo Alto was “stores.” Another answered: “IKEA!”

People from Menlo Park tend to believe that their city is safer than East Palo Alto, but have reason to. East Palo Alto has a reported high violence rate. “The city continues to struggle with high violence rates that remain among the highest in California,” says an online source, while in Menlo Park, the violence rate is close to zero.  A reason for the difference in violence for the cities, proposed by an East Palo Alto student, is that “Menlo Park has more law enforcement. East Palo Alto has a code that the people are expected to follow.”

Nobody knows a city better than its residents. There are several great qualities in both the cities that aren’t normally seen from an outsider’s point of view.  Clearly, the community in East Palo Alto revolves around family relationships, as two East Palo Alto students were quoted saying that they “feel safe because of [their] family.” When asked about what she likes most about Menlo Park, Charlotte Lewis said, “I like that it has a thriving community, that it is safe, and that there are fairs downtown.” Although judgments will always exist between different communities, M-A provides a sanctuary for stereotypes to be broken down.