The Stepfather

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Written by Jake Meyers-Snowball

Losing one’s family can drive a person to madness. The weak may turn to drugs or alcohol, while the strong will seek help from those that care about them. Once in a blue moon however, this person will turn into a creepy psychopathic killer, the perfect premise for a fantastic horror movie.  This is in no way the case in The Stepfather.

The movie attempts the “creepy guy in the shadows across the street” scene, but just completely fails. Though Dylan Walsh, the stepfather, does the very best he can to play a murderous stepdad, he falls flat on his face. I sincerely apologize, Dylan, but an angry baby would scare me more than you. Sure, he plays the “pop out of nowhere” card all the time- but in no way does he scare anyone. Not even the cliché horror movie candy, that beautiful, half naked girl.

Most horror films strongly appeal to three main categories: sex, violence and the obvious scare. More often than not, horror movie directors will throw in a few nameless naked blondes. Why? Because sex sells.  And it is humorous to watch them get killed in violent and bloody ways. Now, a great scary movie will really just scare the crap out of people, such as Paranormal Activity, and they can do without all the BS. The Stepfather tried to incorporate all of these things and just ended up being a comedy. The guy isn’t scary, the girl isn’t naked and no one dies.  As for the cinematography? Well, anyone can put a camera underwater. When this movie comes out on DVD, it wouldn’t even be worth the $15 video store cost just to be thrown off a roof like a frisbee.

I give The Stepfather a D-.  The only reason it isn’t an F is because it was really funny how stupid it was.

1. rachel fox Says:
   November 12th, 2009 at 7:40 pm

   this makes me laugh

   [Reply]

2. Cameron Kelley Says:
   November 13th, 2009 at 11:06 am

   this was a humorous article
   i might actually see it now just to watch its stupidity
   and maybe then i will buy it to play frisbee with my friends
   quality article jake. quality.

   [Reply]