Teacher Fight Club: Bracket Update #3
May 22, 2014
Coulombe vs. Decurtins:
Oh man, this is starting to get intense. In one corner, we had Coulombe, the twenty-something year old genius and youngest person ever to work at the large hadron collider in Switzerland. But then, in the other corner we had Decurtins, a man who could literally kill someone with a Dixie cup and a rubber band if he really wanted to. It wasn’t a battle of brawn, but brains. Instead of fighting it out, both teachers decided to give each other ridiculously complex science-y questions until one bowed out. Coulombe asked things like “Does the moon’s spectral waves have a length equal or less than that of the line for the Donut Club?” while Decurt asked things like “If you were to fall on your face, what would be the dominant force?” Everyone laughed until Coulombe actually fell on his face. Suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore.
Otsuka vs. Day:
Day tip-toed into the ring. She knew all about Otsuka’s cheap tricks by now. But there were no panini makers or Darcy impersonators anywhere around. Day breathed a sigh of relief. Otsuka was in her corner, hands in pockets, smiling her adorable little smile as always. “So… is this going to be a fair fight?” Day said with the utmost caution in her voice. “Oh yes!” Otsuka exclaimed cheerfully. Otsuka then took her hands out of her pockets to reveal a pair of newly polished brass knuckles. Oh no.
Martinelli vs. Payne:
The fight was scheduled for 1pm sharp. However, Payne showed up at 1:01, prompting Martinelli to lock Payne out and hand her a tardy slip. “Fill this out and turn it into the 5th period box” Martinelli said… BURN!
Brodkey vs. Amoroso:
Amoroso beat the living crap out of Brodkey the moment he stepped in the ring. When asked for a comment, Amo replied, “I don’t care how cute he is. Sweaters are for two occasions and two occasions only: Christmas and the day you get beaten up by me.”