Über Column: “Fat Ugly Americans”

Photo Credit: Mike Licht

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Written by Viktor Kewenig

Americans, what are you?

You are fat, ugly, your IQ is lower than the average European, you don’t go to the Opera, or the orchestra. You don’t eat food other than burgers and French fries. You don’t have ANY sense of fashion, ANY sense for culture, or ANY sense for ANYTHING.

Some Europeans may think this, but is that really the truth?

What are you Americans? Do you fit in the European stereotype?

Are you smart? Do you have traditions?

I have to say when I think of Americans, I think of iPods. That may sound stupid, but the reasons are pretty obvious. Europe and every other country in the world is influenced by American culture today. We look at it as a modern thing. It is an important part of our daily life, and influences our thoughts and actions. Ipods, Hollywood, Miley Cyrus, Ed Hardy, McDonald’s, all these things are big parts of our daily life today, and because of that, part of our culture. Americans might not practice traditional European culture. Instead they are creating the new, modern tradition of the 21^st century. Europeans may go to the opera, like they used to do 300 years ago. However in 300 years we might go to Mc Donald’s, and look at it as a sacred tradition.

I think old traditional culture is nice and a good thing if you like it. However if you don’t, it is nothing you should have to do, because it is essentially important or makes you really intelligent.

Based on all this I only have one last question:

If the European IQ is so high why weren’t we the first ones who landed on the moon?

1. Kurt Kessler Says:
   December 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm

   But a European was the first person in space. Just putting that out there.

   [Reply]

2. Alex Gow Says:
   January 6th, 2010 at 10:35 am

   Also the first to put a satellite in space…
   Just saying

   [Reply]

3. Sam Says:
   January 13th, 2010 at 8:32 am

   AMERICA!

   [Reply]

4. McB Says:
   January 14th, 2010 at 5:53 pm

   I feel like someone has just outstayed their welcome…..

   [Reply]

5. asdf Says:
   January 25th, 2010 at 10:12 pm

   GO BACK TO GERMANY!!!

   [Reply]