Photo Credit: Payton Bush

A demonstration by Ross Dairiki and Alison Myoraku of method number two

To all those out there still without a date for this Friday’s “iProm”, have no fear, there is hope for you yet. All you need to do is employ some of these handy-dandy methods, and you’ll find yourself frantically searching for the right color corsage in no time.

For girls, we recommend one of the ways listed in our previous article for the Sadie-Hawkins dance. These were found to be fool proof with unanimously excellent results.

However for the gents out there we’ve compiled a new set of clever, unique ways to ask that special someone to the dance. We guarantee they work without fail!

1. Fake a tumor. It’ll appeal to her motherly instincts

2. Sob inconsolably into her shoulder. Chicks dig guys with a sensitive side.

3. Take a note from Bugs Bunny, with a conversation following as such:

“Wanna go to Prom?”

“Sorry, no”.

“You mean yes?”

“No”.

“No?”

“Yes”.

“So that’s a yes then”.

“Wait….”

4. Walk up to her with reflective aviators on and say: “Come with me if you want to live”.

5. Another conversationally ambiguous one:

“Hey, you know that thing coming up?”

“What thing?”

“You know, the thing”.

“Prom?”

“I’d love to!”

6. Showcase your best assets: “Guess who has two thumbs and tested negative?”

7. Hijack an airplane and write “Prom?” in the sky. Don’t worry that it’ll probably be overcast, or about the whole “knowing how to fly” thing. You can’t let minor details get in the way of true happiness.

8.  Buy her a Tiffany necklace, no matter the cost. Your memories of some girl from high school are far more important than your college education.

9. Rather than follow in the footsteps of your predecessors by spelling out your question in lights on the girl’s lawn, go with something a bit different. Light the actual lawn on fire. She’ll love that you went for the extreme when it comes to her.

10. Roofies.

11. Whack her over the head with a club and drag her to the dance, cave man style. Not only will she be attracted to your primal spirit, but she’ll really appreciate your assertiveness.

12. Go stag, and laugh at all those yelling over the music to each other that they want to take the damn picture while their hair is still perfect.