Photo credit: Gavin Rea
Lost in the midst of the new year’s wave of changes is the Administration’s push for more serious clubs of didactic value. Just as Cornell notes have left us with beautiful memories, this club initiative has left us with such gems as the Tommy Club and the Star II Craft Strategy Club, which are summed up by the following constitutions:

Menlo-Atherton High School

ASB Constitution and Bylaws for

The Tommy Chen Fan Club Club

Article 1 – Name, Purpose and Authority

The name of the organization will be “The Tommy Club” of Menlo-Atherton High School.  This organization will discuss the person of Tommy Chen, and his value as an actor on the global stage, as directly approved by the student council and indirectly by the school principal and the governing body of the Sequoia District.

Article II – Membership:

All students enrolled in the Menlo-Atherton High School who are actively interested in the person of Tommy Chen are welcome.

Article III – Meetings and Activities:

Meetings will be held on Thursdays at lunch in C-4 unless a special meeting is called.

Article IV – Club Officers:

The Club officers shall consist of the following:

• President: Greg Schulman
• Chairman: Jacob Pfau
• Resident Troll: Will Hickman
• Chief Fans #1-10: J.Chow; T.Chen; K.Harris etc.

Article V – Duties:

The club President will have the following duties:

• To resolve disputes in any meetings
• To decide on the merits of individual members’ suggestions
• To support Tommy Chen

The club Chairman will have the following responsibilities:

• Inform other members of recent developments regarding Tommy Chen
• Nominate other officers
• Chair meetings of the Tommy Chen club

Resident Troll:

• Troll group meetings
• Sit in the back areas wearing a troll face

Chief Fans #1-10:

• Admire Tommy Chen on a bi-weekly basis

Article VI – Elections:

All positions decided by Tommy Chen in person.

Article VII – Amendment:

Three fifth’s agreement required.

We approve this constitution for the Tommy Chen Fan Club for the 2011-2012 school year.

__________________                               __________________

Club Advisor                                               Club President

__________________                                ___________________

Club Chairman                                           Tommy Chen

And

Menlo-Atherton High School

Starcraft II Strategy Club

Article 1 – Name Purpose, and Authority

The name of the organization will be “Star II Craft Strategy Club” of Menlo-Atherton High School. This organization will examine and analyze the development of the SCII meta-game, general unit compositions and builds in Wings of Liberty and Heart of the Swarm Expansion pack as well as Starcraft II E-sports developments in general.

Article 2 – Membership

All students enrolled in the Menlo-Atherton High School are eligible for membership. However, in the interest of the greater good, we request that all members should have an interest and/or own Blizzard’s StarCraft II game.

Article 3 – Meetings and Activities

Meetings will be held on Wednesday at lunch in C4 unless a special meeting is called.

Article 4 – Club Officers

The club officers shall consist of the following:

President /Chief Information Officer – Jacob Pfau

Vice Pres – Jeremy Chow

Custom (MOBA) Dept – Jeremmie Lai

Phantom Advisor – Ben Smith

Troll: Will Hickman

Role Model: Tommy Chen

Article 5 – Duties

Discuss the methods to reach a maximum GG rate from opponents..

Article 6 – Elections

Decided by President – There is no cow level.

Article 7 – Amendment

A 2/5 majority vote of the members in attendance is required to amend this club constitution.

We approve this constitution for the Star II Craft Strategy Club for the 2011-2012 school year.

__________________________                    ____________________________

Club President                                                   Club Vice-President

__________________________

Club Advisor

On the other hand we have such silly clubs as the Doughnut Club.  The Doughnut ‘Club’ is not a real club, but a corporation. It is the culmination of Benjamin Prudhomme’s insidious attempt to undermine the scholarly environment that is M-A by inserting his own dream of a big business M-A dedicated to the sole motive of profit.  Already, the Doughnut ‘Club’ spreads propaganda in the daily Bear News. Anchor Fitzgerald Geonzon has been hoodwinked into broadcasting the Doughnut Corporation’s lies about the nutritious value of doughnuts, while unknowingly becoming an accomplice in Mr. Prudhomme’s effort to cripple the school by poisoning the populace.  The stark contrasts between the Doughnut Monopoly and the Tommy Club represent the school-wide conflict between those seeking an education and preparation for later life, and those seeking to manipulate the former group for their own devious ends.