Are bloody revolutions, natural disasters, and apocalyptic predictions getting you down? Are you feeling just a little scared at the thought of economic crisis and global climate change? Are you looking for at least a few certainties in the future? Well, have no fear students, we’ve got some cozy routines from your very own M-A to take your mind off of all that is big and scary in the world!

Comics by Margaret Ringler.

The fire alarms will go off at least two more times. Will the deed be done by delinquent students, or errant weather conditions? That we can’t say for sure.

Teachers will continue to accidentally blurt out hilariously inappropriate or nonsensical statements, sending students into a tizzy of excitement until the next breach of conduct occurs.

You certainly won’t find any school spirit or even dance attendees at future dances unless the Administration backs down on it’s “No Freaking Policy”. After all, only a select, brave few would choose to “get jiggy wid it” whilst in view of the administration, barely hidden by student made decorations and a dj set. Perhaps it’s time for M-A to follow the trends and start a revolution of its own, with slogans such as “Freedom to Freak!”

What else could remain remarkably the same? The hallways of course! Pride Hall might be sporting a new image, but the crushing bodies tossing you this way and that and the abrupt seal noises (if you’ve ever walked through the hallways then you’ve had the immense pleasure of hearing these deafening calls) will certainly never change. Perhaps some traffic lanes, senior pranksters?

Speaking of slow, what would high school be without a questionable bathroom with lines that move at geological time scales? Get your smart phones out, it’s time to make ten new Facebook friends.

The hallways will also continue as a test of strength and ingenuity for navigation- Darwinism in action. To charge through the slow walking couple holding hands, or to knock aside the freshmen in your way- the choice is yours.

These same freshmen mentioned above will continue getting shorter and shorter over the years as they arrive at M-A, leaving many to wonder if 8^th graders have infiltrated the school system.

These underclassmen will also expand their invasion from not just into the school but into higher level classes as well, putting the bewildered upperclassmen to shame.

The amount of technology in classes will increase. Pink slips have already been handed out to chalkboards- which old-time school appliance will be next to go the way of the dinosaur? The overhead projector is not long for this world.

Students will continue complaining about freezing temperatures. “Oh my god it’s 70 degrees!” Helpful hint: no more flip flops and shorts!

Speaking of weather though, as always it’s going to be a split weather day- Arctic tundra in the morning and Sahara desert in the afternoon.

Last but not least, rain is going to cause massive traffic conditions in and around the school, and by rain we mean a light drizzle. Students and parents alike- we wish you luck.

Not cheered up by our predictions for the upcoming year? Well, whether cheery or not, it’s time to build some character in 2011 and 2012!